Who the fuck is Lemmy?

33-year old Travis Frey stands accused of raping his own wife. This is of course very bad. During the investigation of the alleged crime a marriage contract of sorts between Frey and his wife has surfaced, and the rape has now taken a back seat in the media to the saucy details of the contract.

I know it’s very PUC to say so, but I personally wouldn’t mind having such a contract. There’s too much to quote, but click the link and read it all and tell me it wasn’t a sad day for humanity when we unshackled women from the kitchen and bedroom.

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Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use “as is”, or as a mixer. Pepsi’s proposed ad campaign claims: “It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.”

Obviously we can no longer call this a “soft drink.”

This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned stiff drink.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of “Mount And Do.”

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If we are to believe the dimwit in the White House everything is just fucking hunky dory in Irak, even though he just recently passed the problem on to the next president.

Reality tells a different story. Now they’re reruiting grannies to fight the war.

SAUGUS, Calif. - Sonia Goldstein was flattered by the nice recruiting letter asking her to consider becoming one of “the few, the proud.” But at age 78, she believes she’s just a little old to enlist in the U.S. Marine Corps.

Seems we’re running a little low on cannon fodder these days. Once we get around to invading Iran and North Korea we’ll have to recruit Ms Goldstein’s mother to make up for the shortage of young people willing to die in the president’s fraudulent wars. Either that or reinstate the draft. Semper Fi!

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Not a hell of a lot you would think, but they share the honor of being the biggest traffic generators for WTFIL. Seems a lot of people are using the search engines to find info about Merril and Carmen, and WTFIL ranks fairly high for the search terms “Merril Keiser” and “Carmen Electra”.

For those of you who don’t remember, Merril is a fuckwad from Ohio who aspires to kill all homosexuals. Carmen Electra doesn’t need any introduction from me. Too bad I can’t make any money off of her. Well I could, if some of you fuckers would click this link and buy something. I hear she’s pimping nude female wrestling these days.

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What the fuck do power tools and porn have to do with each other? Truth be told, not much, although for certain applications a reciprocating saw or a drill can come in handy. I might elaborate on this at a later time.

I got some advice today to write about stuff that I know and that is close to my heart in order to gain a readership on my blog. Well, I know about porn and sex is close to my heart, but nobody seems to be reading, so I thought I’d try a different approach. Instead of writing a lot about porn spiced up with a little about me, I’ll write a lot about me and spice it up with some porn.

Here’s some porn.

I’m really not that much into power tools, although I do enjoy being a handyman around the house and quite the do-it-yourselfer, but since I bought my house 6 years ago it has become somewhat of a necessity to get some stuff and learn some skills only to keep the house from falling down (it’s a 1960s fixer upper ranch house). Here’s a picture of my trusty circular saw, the first tool I got after we moved in. It’s a very good all-round tool and I would recommend it strongly to any newly minted home owner.

Here’s some porn.

OK, enough about power tools for today, but keep an eye out for future installments in what may become an occasional series, I really do have a lot of tools. When I had vinyl siding installed last year the installers jokingly referred to my garage as Lars’s Hardware Store (did I just give away my real name?).

Here’s some porn.

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