Who the fuck is Lemmy?

And with this we return to our regular programming, which is…good old-fashioned hardcore, pussy fucking, asshole thumping PORN!

And what better way to exemplify this than with these to gorgeous, horny teenage bimbos licking each other, sucking dongs and taking big cocks in every available hole? Dude, this is what porn is supposed to be; escapism into the world of thoroughly stupid, but incurably nymphomaniac teenage hussies, because teenage girls aren't really like that, or are they?

You better bet your fuckin' ass they are at Tamed Teens! These bimbos would be on their backs spreading 24/7 whether they got paid for it or not! So check out the rest of this fucking gallery and then head over to Tamed Teens for some high definition movie clips of the horniest, sluttiest teens on the Internet!

Technorati Tags: hardcore porn, teenage nymphomaniacs, blowjobs, anal sex

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I thought I'd try something slightly different this wonderful Monday morning. For some reaason most people think pai throwing is funny, in fact it has been a staple of comedy for decades. Classic shows such as I Love Lucy, The Three Stooges, Laurel And Hardy and The Marx Brothers come to mind.

What if we instead of throwing paies at dorky looking guys threw them at sexy babes? And had them smear all sorts of food on their bodies, asses and pussies? And then watched them masturbate with dildos and fruit? Would that be sexy? This may very well have been the thought behind Splosh Me, a fairly new site dedicated to messing up pretty girls with all sorts of sticky delights. And if you ask me the result is actually rather provocative and titillating. Who wouldn't want to eat cherry pai off of this hot blondes upturned ass?

Check out the rest of the pics in this messy food gallery and then take the free tour at SploshMe.com for more messy girls and some amazing video previews. Bon apetit!

Technorati Tags: wet and messy, food fetish

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Thanks for listening to my rants, guys. I know you first and foremost are here for the porn, but once in a while I need to get stuff off my chest. This babe fucking herself senseless with a huge fucking machine is my way of saying thanks for understanding. 

What girl hasn't dreamt of a lover who never gets tired and never goes limp? The chicks @ Fucking Machines have no such worries. Like Kinzy Jo here. You can check out some sample movies from her latest session with Fuckzilla in this free fucking machine gallery and for the latest updates take the free tour at Fucking Machines.

Technorati Tags: fucking machines, masturbation, extreme masturbation, toy sex

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You know what pisses me off? A sick guy goes the doctor. The doctor examines him and writes a prescription for medicine to cure the illness. The guy (yeah, it's me) goes to get his prescription filled, but the pharmacist, after calling the insurance company, tells him they won't pay for it and that he has to make do with the (less effective) over-the-counter drug. That pisses me off!

A medical doctor with years of school and training tells me I need this medicine to get well, and some fucking pencil pusher decides that corporate profit is more important than my health. THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!!!

Technorati Tags: insurance companies, health insurance, prescription medicine

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Yeah, I just felt like saying that. Rick Santorum is a fucking cocksucker!

I just read this AP interview with the not-so-venerable republican Senator from Pennsylvania and I am left with a foul taste in my mouth, much like that frothy mix of fecal matter and lube that is sometimes a byproduct of anal sex.

This guy not only wants to criminalize homosexuals, he also wants to take away the right to privacy in our own homes that protects us from his spying eyes to determine whether or not we fuck our wives in an approved and acceptable manner. He goes from anal sex to men fucking boys to men fucking dogs in the same sentence. What a fucking lowlife scumbag!

Rick Santorum is the personification of intolerance. His mindset gave birth to nazism, Hitler and the extermination of 6 million jews. Rick Santorum is the fucking Anti-Christ!

Please, read the interview and tell me the guy isn't a certified maniac. Unfortunately he's a looney with power over our lives. It's a fucking disgrace that people like him can get elected to high office in the United States in the 21st century. If you live in Pennsylvania and don't vote, you are to blame. Think about it…

Technorati Tags: rick santorum, intolerance, frothy mix

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The chicks have Valentine's Day, but what do we guys have? Nothing…until now. Massachusetts DJ Tom Birdsey has come up with the most excellent idea of instituting Steak and Blowjob Day to correct this blatant sexist imbalance in love holidays.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!

Next March 14th when the bitch starts whining and complaining, I'll just point to the calendar and say "open wiiiiide".

Technorati Tags: blowjobs, oral sex

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A female prison guard is in trouble in Germany for fucking one of the inmates.

The young woman, named only as Juliane G. for legal reasons, from Saarlouis, is alleged to have had a sexual relationship with an unnamed male prisoner who she regularly visited in his cell.

If that's what it's like being locked up in Germany I'd like to do some time please. Who the hell needs conjugal visits?

Technorati Tags: prison sex, conjugal visit

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