Who the fuck is Lemmy?

My wife is a lousy sex slave. She likes to please me, I give her credit and love her for that, but during a session she doesn’t like to be tied up, she doesn’t like to submit, she wants to be as comfortable as possible (well, I want her to be comfortable too) and she doesn’t want it to be very painful.

I on the other hand want her to be completely immobilized. I want all her tender parts to be completely exposed for whatever devious plans I might have (ya know, whipping, buttplugs and such). I want it to hurt just a tad beyond pleasure and I want her to like it and beg for more (and I want it to show; wiggle that cute little ass an moan godammit!). Is that too much to ask from your sex slave or is it an unattainable man’s dream?

I think I’m gonna put the wrist and ankle cuffs up on eBay. Maybe a bench like this one is more comfy to her needs? Waddaya think hunny?

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Watching the news lately really brings me down. The world is a shitty place. Any perceived moments of happiness you have is just to let you catch your breath long enough to get through the next period of crap, misery and dismembered babies in Lebanon.

I have a dream of a New World Order. It will be brought to us by aliens far more advanced than us. They will teach us to love and not to hate, to abandon our evil ways and pursue a future of peace, serenity and unity with the Universe and where there are no Wal-Marts. We will see the wisdom in what they tell us, and if we don't they will zap us with death rays.

When the aliens arrive they will ask to be taken to our leader. When they arrive at The White House they will string George Bush up by his pea-sized balls and execute him with honey and angry fire ants. The people will rejoice.

Next they will resurrect John Lennon and All You Need Is Love will be the anthem of a new global society of peace and harmony. George Bush will be condemned to spend eternity in hell with Yoko Ono.

There is no porn in this post. That is because under the New World Order it will be redundant. Most people will be good looking and men will be hung like horses. Even the few pimple faced nerds and fatsoes still around will get to have sex regularly with super models.

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It just occurred to me (yeah, I know I'm slow) that the title of this blog has no reference to porn whatsoever. Personally I get a little fed up now and then making fake posts day in and day out and "sneaking" in links for you to click. None of you motherfuckers are buying anyway, you fucking freeloaders!

So maybe I should make this a little more about ME and less about YOU. I don't really give a shit about you anyway. So maybe the free pussy is gonna be a little harder to find from now on. Waddaya think about that, huh?

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10 bound volumes totalling more than 6,000 pages have been found in a storage room in the lower, subterranean levels of the Pentagon. Who the fuck is Lemmy? has managed to obtain an unauthorized complete xeroxed copy of what appears to be Lemmy’s personal journals dating from the late 30s up until aproximately 1990.

Pending legal proceedings under The Freedom of Information Act, WTFIL is at the moment not at liberty to reveal any of the journals’ astonishing content. Several government organizations, including the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security, the CIA and the FBI as well as the estate of J. Edgar Hoover and many prominent individuals have filed motions to keep the journals under lock and away from public scrutiny.

WTFIL is part of a group of watchdog- and whistle blower organizations currently fighting this blatant attempt at keeping the American public out of the loop, for whatever devious reasons we can only speculate at the current time. It seems apparent, though, from a preliminary browsing of the journals, that some very high ranking officials both from past and present administrations stand to lose a lot should the documents ever be made public.

WTFIL pledges to do its part in fighting government secrecy and as soon as the legalistic wrinkles are ironed out, share our knowledge right here on this website. Stay tuned…

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Many myths have been created in the wake of the Watergate scandal that led to Tricky Dicky’s demise as President. One of the more persistent is that Lemmy and the President were in a homosexual relationship, and that Lemmy indeed was the anonymous informant known as Deep Throat.

According to insiders in Washington no-one is quite sure why Lemmy betrayed his lover, but one theory that has been circulating is that Lemmy had knowledge of an assasination plot against Nixon by the Cubans and the Mafia, and the only way he could save his friend’s life was by giving him up. Other "reliable sources" deny the notion of the President and Lemmy being lovers as ridiculous. There is no doubt that Lemmy served in some semi-official capacity in the inner circle around the President at the time the Watergate story broke, perhaps as a liaison between the Secret Service and the CIA and/or the FBI, but the same sources claim that Lemmy was strictly heterosexual.

There is also an unconfirmed story that J. Edgar Hoover had in his secret archives photographs of then Senator Nixon and Lemmy in incriminating circumstances in a hotel room during the Republican Convention in 1959. We will probably never know the truth.

Richard Nixon - Was Lemmy his secret bedpal?

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It was a dark and rainy night on a small farm just outside not-Oshkosh, Wisconsin. The farmer and his wife lay fast asleep, as did 17 of their 18 children. In a small, makeshift bedroom in the attic lay Lemmy, their only son, awake, huddled under the blankets with a flashlight, feverishly oogling the pages of the female undergarment section of a dog-eared and stained copy of the Sears & Roebuck mailorder catalog while touching himself. Since that fateful day five years ago when he walked in on his parents doing the horizontal mambo his mind had been consumed by thoughts of carnal lust.

That incident had been the catalyst that led to the awakening of an abnormally strong libido that in later years would earn him the reputation as the worlds greatest womanizer since Casanova. After hurting himself badly on a splinter in the outhouse, he learned to jack off like normal people and soon he was masturbating five, six, even seven times a day. He learned more from watching the farm animals behaving like farm animals do, and no sheep, cow or lama was safe for miles around. But as of yet his young cock had never slid between the moist labia of a woman or girl. All this was about to change.

His hand moved faster, his breathing rapid and shallow. He came with a shudder and his cock, sore and almost skinless, squirted a meager load onto the sheets. This couldn’t continue! Ample opportunity as he had to watch his sisters and even his mother naked, he just knew instinctively that that would be wrong, and the farm animals had learned to avoid him, scattering at the mere sight of him approaching. He threw off the blankets and got dressed. He bundled up his few belongings, including the Sears & Roebuck catalog, and climbed out the window and down the gutter drain. Ahead of him lay the long road to Chicago and a future he did not know what had in store for him, only that it had to include women, lots of soft, fleshy, horny women! It was the last time he was ever seen in not-Oshkosh.

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