Who the fuck is Lemmy?

Whoopi Goldberg defended notorious dog torturer and football star Michael Vick on the TV show The View.

Michael Vick has pleaded guilty to federal dogfighting charges, and is also known to have tortured underperforming dogs, hanging them and drowning them.

Where he comes from, Whoopi said (the South), dogfighting isn’t that unusual. She continued “There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country.”

Well I’ll be fucked! I guess that makes it alright then. By the same logic owning slaves in the antebellum South was just fine and dandy, and also anti-semitism in the 30s and 40s in Europe. It wasn’t unusual and most certainly was indicative of the area and time.

Michael Vick has been on my shit list since the news about him broke and I guess I’ll be adding Whoopi to it now. Too bad, I kind of liked her. Who would have guessed that under that liberal exterior she was a two-faced looney willing to defend any despicable behavior on the grounds of culture and background?

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Here’s the script to my newest porn flick:

There you are, lounging around the public library wearing nothing but a silly grin when suddenly the alarm clock goes off. Surprised, you put fresh batteries in the butt plug and are happy to see four Jehovah’s Witnesses masturbating. As the cheesy music begins you can’t help yourself, so you spread whipped cream all over your body, shocked by the size of the ass that confronts you. Before you know it a car pulls up and it’s the Dallas Chamber of Commerce doing each other in the back seat. Being the gracious host, you spank all of them, much to their delight.

The air is thick with the smell of someone’s cheap perfume as 465 people are now writhing in a pile on the kitchen counter fucking. You’re completely absorbed in it, never having enjoyed so many people fucking at once.

Suddenly you look up and see your spouse staring at you and you grin foolishly. You’re caught! They turn you over to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and you fuck them too as the cheesy music fades out.

You can be a porn star too, tryouts are being held @ Mad Dog Productions now!

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Carl Rove is leaving the White House which amounts to GBW having a lobotomy. Not that we’ll notice much of a difference; it’s hard to imagine how Bush can get any dumber than he already is. And although Rove will no longer be inside the White House I’m sure he’ll be able to communicate with his former boss just fine via e-mail once Georgie figures out how Outlook Express works!

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Some people like a nice turkey club (easy on the mayo), a nice juicy hamburger, or they bring a plain old tuna sandwich from home in a paper bag. Personally I had raisin bran with soy milk for lunch today (battle of the bulge).

Other people prefer more exotic shit, like say, for instance, eating the cum oozing out the asshole of a freshly buttfucked chick. What can I say; different folks, different strokes. I find it utterly disgusting, but still you just can’t stop watching. Again. And again. And again… Check it out (2nd movie on the 1st gallery).

Technorati Tags: cumfart, cumshot, eating cum, jizz, hilary scott, shy love

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The Aussies should count themselves lucky. By sheer luck and the ignorance of the American public in general and President Bush in particular they narrowly avoided invasion.

Take a gander at this movie produced in France to get a better understanding of why Americans are regarded as idiots by the rest of the world. Speaking of the French, we should really invade them next as it appears we have some unresolved differences with them, the fucking diaper heads! Did I hear Freedom Fries anyone?!?

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A jury in Fresno, California has awarded Janet Orlando $1.7 million dollars in compensation after she was spanked in front of her colleagues at work according to AP.

Sales teams were encouraged to compete, and the losers were forced to eat baby food, wear diapers, or get spanked on the buttocks with an opposing company’s metal-poled yard signs, according to court documents.

I feel badly for poor Janet. She had to take a few whacks on the buttocks. But I bet almost 2 million dollars eases her pain somewhat. Me, I’d gladly take a public spanking, eat baby food and crap in my diapers for that kind of money. But that’s just me.

Original post by Mr Kink and software by Elliott Back

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The news used to be about current events, politics, world affairs, disasters and such, but things are changing. A naked man was found masturbating on a nature trail in California, and when the police arrested him for indecent exposure they asked the standard question: "Are you hiding any concealed weapons?" Well the dude, 33-year-old John Sheehan of Pittsburg, who only recently had been released from prison was naked, so where could he hide a weapon. Turns out the ass is a good place to hide an awl!

Kinky John is now awaiting trial in the county jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon. You just can't make up shit like that!

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